Okay so life is going pretty darn good right now!

I'm still pooped from the long musical nights, but they were oh so worth it!

I am going to start working at Bethany Home , so no more Riverview!!! I passed my strength test first time!!! and everyone was telling me it would be really hard, and they didn't think i could do it!!!

I'm getting ready to go to a movie with Eric and Kaitlyn for her bday Love you much girl!! You too Eswen! lol

Oh.. by the way.. if anyone is interested in buying jewelry from me let me know!! I need to raise around $7000 by April for a Student Ambassador program, and this is fundraising towards that!!

Mucho love

Okay.. so i'm so frustrated...

When you care about someone.. and they get mad when you try to help them.. and they desperately need help... and when you try they get mad.. and they are older than you, and you really can't do much.. You can't force a person to do something that is good for them, such as exercise.. you can't force a person to stop binge eating.. you can't force a person to stop smoking, drinking, taking anti-depressants..

the hardest part is that the person i am talking about is very defensive.. they cry all the time.. they take it out on everyone around them.. they sit around all day and all they can do is sleep, think about everything bad, and eat..

The person i know is changing...right before my eyes.. every day.. I see this person going in a downward cycle.. they don't take what anyone says as anything worthwhile.. it's like they don't listen.. they are always negative, and they are one of the most positive people i know..

WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO?????

Okay.. so I'm pretty excited for halloween!! it's going to pretty tight stuff..

I found my old french maid outfit.. from 6th grade lol.. great stuff.

I've been extremely tired lately.. like this past week or so I can't even wake up anymore.. my aunt's had to check on me at like 7:20 to see if i'm awake.. very weird... I'm usually up by 6:30...

Doesn't it make you feel warm and fuzzy inside when someone you love and care about tells you they should stop caring? and when they say things like 'i guess you don't have time for me anymore, i must mean a lot to you huh?' it's kind of like.. okay.. so i've NEVER been there for you, right? ever? i've never basically ditched people to go spend time with you, and even if i know you will be in a bad mood.. i'm busy.. that's life.. i won't always be here.. it doesn't mean i love you any less.. i'm a teenage girl who has a lot of shit on her plate okay? and i you know who you are, i'm glad.. you should.. and i've never defended you, or wanted to be back with you, and you've basically said no? and said it's unrealistic, or put me down or hurt me? huh? You said you've never meant to hurt me.. who? you? or what?.. you have, and step out of your shoes for one second and take a look at my life.. maybe that's why i sometimes don't tell you everything..i know how you react.. sometimes i've been in the middle soo much, and you say you don't want me to have to be.. then why do you make me be? why do you continue to hurt me, by making me choose between two people i love, and saying, choose me or them, even if you don't say it aloud.. 12:30 A.M... i know sometimes people think the best at that time right? maybe overthink.. are exhausted... but that's exactly how i when i would want to let someone know that i think they are choosing their life over me.. excuse me.. should i quit my life for you? is that what you want? me to be antisocial and live my life for you, like i used to? like i probably will someday?

sometime read the book 'like water for chocolate'.. it will enlighten you to how i'm feeling.. i feel like tita..

Okay.. sorry to anyone who wasn't involved in that .. but i am very frustrated.. very very very frustrated..